What’s wrong with me?
Weekends are weird.
I don’t do anything anymore. I sleep until I’m too hungry to stay in bed, eat my breakfast scrolling, mooch about for a couple of hours ‘til the pool’s open, swim for an hour, eat supper and get invited next door to watch something. I wish I were a little more exciting.
I guess at least this is constant though. Everything else seems to fluctuate so much.
So tired.
I’ve had a bad day. And now I can’t work out what to do with my evening. Vicky and the boys are going to the cinema. I need to find myself some food, because it’s been almost 24 hours since I last ate. I feel like I should go to the pool, but I’m so drained. My original plan was to read some more, but I might need a nap first. Maybe I’ll just curl up.
I have a practical exam next week.
I have to do a class 1 cavity prep and then composite occlusal filling. I felt like death today. But I managed to do six. My cavities were too deep, too wide, stepped and just awful. And then I did another, and it was amazing.
Then we had to fill them. That’s harder than it looks. Take this viscous paste which sticks to itself, and press it into that hole, then use these metal implements to shape it so it looks like a real tooth, with no gaps around the edges. Oh, and do it in this confined space, please.
I managed to do two good ones. The rest were pathetic.
I have to do this right next week.
Fuck.
Drained.
The pool was really busy today, so in order to keep my tiny little strip, I just kept swimming. My chest feels really tight now and I’m not sure why.
I had a good time last night.
Snobs is way better than any of the other places I’ve been.
One guy made an impression. He took my hand, shook it, gave me a bro fist bump and then a bro type embrace. Then he held me round the waist, kissed my cheek, and lifted me up and held me in a sort of bear hug. He made me smile. I like guys like that a lot more than the sort who come up behind you and start rubbing themselves on you. Bee’s the perfect partner for that though. I think we convinced a bunch of guys we were lesbians. If it had to be anyone…
My presence in the house genuinely just made one of my housemates leave.
I guess I didn’t realise she hated me that much.
